The final season of “All in the Family” featured an episode in which Archie Bunker was confronted by a Kelvic immigrant named Fandor. The man’s bigotry so surpassed Archie’s own, that Archie was rattled into a rare moment of personal introspection.
This episode aired the same evening as an important playoff game between the Philadelphia Eagles [...]

OUR PRIME SUGGESTION:
GIVE IT TO YOUR SWORN ENEMY AND BACK UP.
Military training guides often have excellent sections detailing several proven (but not fail-safe) methods of “demining” such as utilizing tunnel rats, bees, bomb detectors, blunt shovels and prayer. An equal yet rarely implemented method of demining that we suggest is to throw your sworn [...]

I’ve been enthusiastic about the nation of Kelv for quite some time. It started when my family began telling me stories of our mysterious homeland and the experiences they had before immigrating to the US. I began doing research on it as a teenager and finally travelled there in 1998. It was even more bizarre [...]

Do not eat in the presence of sentient simians. This salty celebrity meat treat is a rare delicacy saved for the staunchest patriots and those select few who can be called “real men”. When attempting to eat this delicious thespian flesh take care not to mention communism or abortion as this may cause shot-gun blasts [...]

Firstly, aiming yourself at a large body of water is just as potentially lethal as aiming yourself at a brick wall; it’s best to just cover a full square mile in pillows and cushions. Secondly, use only rubber goggles, the plastic ones can shatter and blind you if you land on your face. Lastly, (and [...]